My 'Life Changing Trip'

My Visit To Vrindavan

I have for a while been amazed and sometimes a little scared of how much faith people can have in their beliefs. During my trip to Vrindavan, I saw sights that I think were just absolutely strange to me. I am not a religious person, if you don't know me, I do believe that there probably is something out there, someone who controls the grand scheme of things, but not in the manner that most conservative hindus or muslims or christians believe in. So when my religious family took me over to the city of Vrindavan, native to Lord Krishna, I was not exactly enthralled as the trip made me question a lot of things and just because I was having these questions take refuge in my mind it didn't mean that I was allowed to ask them as elders often have the habit of shushing logic in the fore front of religious ideologies and arguing only results in resentment so I kept to myself and didn't really try to ask things or question beliefs. 

I walked the gullies of Vrindavan while along with me countless others worshiped and chanted the lord's name in solace. I was unable to experience the same kind of faith as they did, but I did feel quite peaceful sitting in Iskon or watching the river Yamuna where the famous fight took place between mythological god Shri Krishna and Kaliya, the big snake thing. Sorry if I felt disrespectful there but I must say that Indian Mythology is too good to be true. It has actual human stories and things that really are worth reading into with valuable life lessons, I'd say Bhagvat Geeta is definitely worth reading, but I am getting off point here. I would write more on my visit to Vrindavan if you'd like to read that 

The point is that I being as naive as I am, was still not willing to believe the stories of mythology. It just seemed absurd the idea of giving your life to god to attain salvation, spending it in his feet chanting his name, I don't think my god would want me to do that, he would probably want me to be a good person, be better than who I am, he wouldn't we narcissistic enough to ask people to chant his name over and over again, right?
But who am I to question religion, I am just human, naive maybe, little and minute in the grand scheme of things. Despite that there's something that isn't all overwhelmingly sad. It's the hope that what we do could count.

Some other highlights of the whole thing had to be the stories surrounding Nidhiwan, now if you don't know what Nidhiwan is it's a place which is said to be sacredly blessed by the almighty's presence every single day.
The stories and rumours surrounding Nidhiwan go like this. Nidhiwan has a room which experiences the presence of God each night, it is a place where Shri Krishna comes to Earth for Rasleela. It sounds interesting right? The idea of God being present in the same space as us mortal pesky creatures? Intriguing it surely was and still is..but there's a slight problem.

Proof is hard to come by, the only source of apparent truth are the pandits and pujaris. I wouldn't rely on their word. I would have wanted to stay there and feel the presence of the almighty myself. I wasn't allowed and nobody is, since those who have tried to enter Nidhiwan at night have faced mortality. When I heard the stories of death caused by having felt the presence of Lord Krishna I was suspicious, not enough to extend myself to such conditions.

My 'research' which is basically just my Google and quora fact checks have proved nothing either. I believe the power of the internet and it's extreme urgency to discover the truth was bereft in front of religion.

After all, one doesn't question religion, right? Especially young Naive Teens?

I'd like to end this whole thing on a happy note though, the travel to Vrindavan was tiring, seeing the different statues and idols of the god was hard too, but it was hard to measure the worth when It at least forced me to face my mortality (by thinking about it) I was able to remember the insignificance of my life. Not in a bad way. It made me feel a step closer to actually believing in something greater. Not completely and not yet, but eventually or maybe not.

With that I'd like to end this some page essay, I'm sorry about having to make you guys wait for this. But all that matters is that you read it and I appreciate that.

Thank you

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