Thoughts On Things EP 2

Thoughts on Things Ep 2

11:01 PM
Tuesday Of 18 June

Human emotions are so hard to account some times, they are hard to control or make work through. Some decisions made don't really feel like they should have been made and reality often fails to align with expectations.

I feel that what makes us human are these emotions of sadness and bitterness, the only cruel or negative thing that actually exists is not embracing these feelings, not realising them or accepting their existence but instead just continuing to repress them. That is the bigger problem.

I think letting emotions out and wild has become a stigma at this point in time, we after all live in a time and place where the reality of situations are often diluted through the lens of social media and constant communication. Every post, every comment, every status update all are scrutinized heavily by the masses especially if you're someone in the lime light.

Funny thing isn't it, some desire fame while some dwelling in fame consider themselves deprived of the happiness that comes from anonymity. There is surely some amount of happiness attached to being socially accepted and being approved by society but maybe approval by society isn't always the way it seems. Sometimes approval of one group undermines approval and appeal of other said groups.

I really feel we're in a time and place where we are not allowed to truly express how we feel as most of our views end up getting shaped by our surroundings, our friends, family, influencers. It really just makes it hard to follow your desire when your desire is smudged upon by the righteousness of the internet and what others believe in.

I am not sure what I desire from life, I did make a lot of decisions that I didn't want to make but I felt indirectly pressurised by peers to make them. I don't want regrets. I want to be happy as well, don't we all desire happiness discreetly while we hide behind cynicism and sarcasm? 

It feels that I just and many others like me want to leave a name in this world, be a part of something bigger than me, if not the greater good at least the collective good.

Immortality through art is what I seek, unfortunately my art and my passion aren't able to fuel my dreams and last into something worthy of respect and admiration.

It's all there is, just a few creative jargons and a tinge of sadness with the bitter feeling of being less than who I was. 

Trying to make a difference is all that I care about now, maybe some day I could be immortal too in the eyes of a future reader, if I am not able to make a name for myself. I wish to be able to inspire someone enough that they believe they can achieve immortality through art.

Sorry for the depressing aspect of my post but I am suffering from a bit of relapse of a previously forgotten epidemic.

I would try to be better 

So that someday she would be the one

Holding the receiver of the phone

As I did.

Ignore that last paragraph.

Thanks a lot for reading. I do appreciate it. Please write down comments of your thoughts and I shall definitely respond.

A writer.