Thoughts On Things Episode IV
Thoughts On Things Episode IV: Rambling
The Death Of Passion Reading
I miss reading books.
Its not like I don't read them anymore, but I can't deny the fact that internet has changed my perception of entertainment, and back when books were the only way for me to connect to the world, it was all I did. A chubby little kid in the corner with a book in his hand wasn't a cliche until I had done it. Obviously I was a nerd, after all,this is a blog, which is also based on the idea of reading things from a screen, though in this case it isn't parchment but instead an LCD,OLED or whatever old type of screen you're reading this from. Moving on, It was 3rd grade I think, when my parents started to be aware of my strange condition. They found it to be amazing.
Why not? After all,reading books was considered much more 'intellectual' and smart as compared to watching the television or even playing outside the house. I would often hear my mother brag about how her son reads.
This didn't make me as happy as you'd think. It was just a beginning, a beginning to the expectations that would be created by early promise only to be thwarted later on.
To be honest, I did read for pleasure, but it didn't mean that it was only that. Books were a means of travel to the world outside and for someone like me who had only learnt to speak english in the 2nd class, it was a necessity so that I could increase the vocabulary since children my age were already spewing jargon while I sat quietly staring at the picture book at that time. The teachers had began it as an effort to make me more confident and reassured,they'd give me those cute picture books with minute texts tacked underneath the bright flashy drawings. It became a habit, my subtle longing for reading more and finding something better led me to start looking in the pre-teen section, where I ended up reading a lot of Geronimo Stilton, which I found to be quite delightful. Then by 3rd class I was a full fledged nerd.
YES, I was pretty much a nerd. I fit all criteria of it as if it was handmade for me. Other than my mother's bragging, I would often hear immense disgust in the voices of my fellow classmates when they found out about my obsession with the world of literature.Those Roald Dahl books, some R.L Stine and a lot of Old Forgotten rubbish propelled me into a world much different from mine, much more blissful, I looked at them as an escape from all the problems a 10 year old could have, my books were everything to me. I would bury my soul in these characters as often I would think that my weakness in spoken English had been turned to my strength in written.
This didn't make me as happy as you'd think. It was just a beginning, a beginning to the expectations that would be created by early promise only to be thwarted later on.
To be honest, I did read for pleasure, but it didn't mean that it was only that. Books were a means of travel to the world outside and for someone like me who had only learnt to speak english in the 2nd class, it was a necessity so that I could increase the vocabulary since children my age were already spewing jargon while I sat quietly staring at the picture book at that time. The teachers had began it as an effort to make me more confident and reassured,they'd give me those cute picture books with minute texts tacked underneath the bright flashy drawings. It became a habit, my subtle longing for reading more and finding something better led me to start looking in the pre-teen section, where I ended up reading a lot of Geronimo Stilton, which I found to be quite delightful. Then by 3rd class I was a full fledged nerd.
YES, I was pretty much a nerd. I fit all criteria of it as if it was handmade for me. Other than my mother's bragging, I would often hear immense disgust in the voices of my fellow classmates when they found out about my obsession with the world of literature.Those Roald Dahl books, some R.L Stine and a lot of Old Forgotten rubbish propelled me into a world much different from mine, much more blissful, I looked at them as an escape from all the problems a 10 year old could have, my books were everything to me. I would bury my soul in these characters as often I would think that my weakness in spoken English had been turned to my strength in written.
This however changed, reason? I found the internet. Imagine reading a book and coming upon a word that you have never seen before, instead of having my tiny mind blown searching its meaning in a Dictionary, all it took was a couple of taps on my smartphone to find it.
This obviously led to the demise of my reading habit, or at least lowered it to a certain degree as all of my entertainment and 'curiosity' for the world took reside in the internet. My gradual and slow descent into the web wasn't marked with any hardships as smartphones cheapened and my habit to read died. A time came when I stopped staying up late lost in the world of Harry Potter or even a good episode of Goosebumps. It was all lost. Instead I lay in the bed with my phone, casually surfing the web, it was reading, but it wasn't as pure.
I'd say that the internet has done far worse to me than it has done good, it has sucked me dry, making me a crude, haste, dead-attention spanned weirdo. My obsession with books and the cozy feeling of being tucked away in bed with parchment and imagination was now replaced with the horrid feeling of reloading my page looking at the number of views I received on my latest blog post. I am not proud of it. The internet took more from me than it gave. I mean, I do love the idea of internet, a place where everyone's unbiased and free to speak their mind, express themselves and let out whatever they desire to share with the world. That unfortunately is only the idea of internet, since internet isn't exactly always pretty and sugar-coated. The real internet is grime, stricken with political correctness and the predicament of people forgetting that behind these profile pictures and screens lie other people, people with feelings and a soul, which can be shattered.
Here is where we come to our major point, the reason for my ramblings and digression. The Unwanted despair that has been caused by Social Media and Internet. You ever find yourself counting your followers and number of people you're following and hope that the former is greater than the latter?
Internet can be a frightening place, especially social media which has the tendency to make you want to be liked, not having a certain number of followers and people who comment, 'cute', under your Instagram post does displeasure you. Sometimes so much that your self-confidence and self-esteem are hurt, thoughts of being unsure about yourself and despair with self image isn't uncommon.
The real problem comes from the fact that we don't know how to cope up with this,this deep insecurity and fear of not being the one. Maybe the solution is in the mentality, to be frank, I believe that we are the generation which knows the problems, the solutions and yet are unable to fix things. Is it because we're lazy? Maybe or Maybe not. We'll never know if we never try to fix it ourselves.
As I don't always have a goal with these thoughts episodes, I would end this one on this note:
"Someone loves you, maybe if not today and not here, some other day and somewhere else, but the truth is that someone loves you, the way you look and the amount of likes and dislikes, or views you receive are dimensionless in front of the immense love that everyone has for you. Don't frown for people say things and believe what they want. Its all that even if someone doesn't love you, you should keep loving yourself."
I Digress
Thank you for reading (since if even a single person read this and felt happy, I feel I've achieved my goal.
The Internet Breaking Hearts
I'd say that the internet has done far worse to me than it has done good, it has sucked me dry, making me a crude, haste, dead-attention spanned weirdo. My obsession with books and the cozy feeling of being tucked away in bed with parchment and imagination was now replaced with the horrid feeling of reloading my page looking at the number of views I received on my latest blog post. I am not proud of it. The internet took more from me than it gave. I mean, I do love the idea of internet, a place where everyone's unbiased and free to speak their mind, express themselves and let out whatever they desire to share with the world. That unfortunately is only the idea of internet, since internet isn't exactly always pretty and sugar-coated. The real internet is grime, stricken with political correctness and the predicament of people forgetting that behind these profile pictures and screens lie other people, people with feelings and a soul, which can be shattered.
Here is where we come to our major point, the reason for my ramblings and digression. The Unwanted despair that has been caused by Social Media and Internet. You ever find yourself counting your followers and number of people you're following and hope that the former is greater than the latter?
Internet can be a frightening place, especially social media which has the tendency to make you want to be liked, not having a certain number of followers and people who comment, 'cute', under your Instagram post does displeasure you. Sometimes so much that your self-confidence and self-esteem are hurt, thoughts of being unsure about yourself and despair with self image isn't uncommon.
The real problem comes from the fact that we don't know how to cope up with this,this deep insecurity and fear of not being the one. Maybe the solution is in the mentality, to be frank, I believe that we are the generation which knows the problems, the solutions and yet are unable to fix things. Is it because we're lazy? Maybe or Maybe not. We'll never know if we never try to fix it ourselves.
As I don't always have a goal with these thoughts episodes, I would end this one on this note:
"Someone loves you, maybe if not today and not here, some other day and somewhere else, but the truth is that someone loves you, the way you look and the amount of likes and dislikes, or views you receive are dimensionless in front of the immense love that everyone has for you. Don't frown for people say things and believe what they want. Its all that even if someone doesn't love you, you should keep loving yourself."
I Digress
Thank you for reading (since if even a single person read this and felt happy, I feel I've achieved my goal.
You should make your content a little less big? I mean it's quite lengthy...
ReplyDeleteI don't know dude, the length is pretty standard I'd say. Actually if the length was less it wouldn't really do justice to the material
ReplyDeleteBook Reading is still pretty much alive, it is only you, you can still read if you put in the effort, you aren't trying hard enough!!! :p
ReplyDelete